I have decided that since we are living in a culture of ultra/hyper-sensitivity in a progressively soon to be dystopic society, one of the major changes we need is to go BEYOND political correctness!!! I am going to write my own best-selling book that will create beautiful soft language that will not offend ANYONE….I am going to start with creating soft-as-a-rabbit’s-fur euphemisms for some highly offensive names. (I am NOT taking credit for this idea, as it was created by the greatest and my favorite comedian of all time, the brilliant late great George Carlin: I am merely a disciple of Mr. Carlin, and am taking it to the next level.)
Here is a sneak peek into my best seller!!!!! The first euphemism I am going to change that is deeply personal to me is the highly offensive term “ rabid fan.” I have loved sports my entire life and I cannot count the many times I have been called, either behind my back or to my face, that I am a "rabid fan".. This derogatory term is outrageous and unconscionable, because even before the highly offensive term “fan” shows up, I am being called "rabid" which is totally insulting!! I am being compared to having the behavior of a diseased bat or a snarling Cujo or Old Yeller, even before someone has seen me cheer on my teams!!! I have never frantically and blindly flown around in circles, screeching and looking to dive bomb for people to sink my tiny diseased sharp fangs into, nor am I barking and snarling like Cujo or Old Yeller, frothing at the mouth, waiting to leap and pounce on someone in a rage with my huge, long sharp man-killing teeth to rip their throat out!
So let’s now get to the name that so many of my friends have called me this outrageously insulting term. Being called a "fan" is deeply offensive!!!!!! This happens all the time and it infuriates me! For example, people will say, “Wow, Ted is a loyal sports fan!" Well, I have decided that this upsets and angers me immensely!!!! If you did not know, “fan” is an abbreviation for “fanatic”!!!! I do not like being called a fanatic!!!!!! As you can see by this picture of the thesaurus entries for “fanatic”, I find it infuriating to be associated with being a “wackadoodle” or a “freak,” and these are just two of many similarly offensive and negative adjectives that "pre-judge!" Look for yourself!!!
So I want to start toppling and tearing down these insensitive verbal monuments!!!!!!!!!! For now on, I want you to refer to my enthusiasm for watching football, UFC etc. as being a “Joyful Avid Athletic Scintillating Sports Spectator” (JAASSS for short) not “RABID FAN” or even a "FAN"!!!! We need to omit this "F" word from the dictionary, thesaurus, and in our daily discourse FOREVER!!!! I am not a fan of this kind of language!!!!
So I want to start toppling and tearing down these insensitive verbal monuments!!!!!!!!!! For now on, I want you to refer to my enthusiasm for watching football, UFC etc. as being a “Joyful Avid Athletic Scintillating Sports Spectator” (JAASSS for short) not “RABID FAN” or even a "FAN"!!!! We need to omit this "F" word from the dictionary, thesaurus, and in our daily discourse FOREVER!!!! I am not a fan of this kind of language!!!!
