PETS ON POT!!!! A SAD STORY OF CANINES ABUSING CANNABIS IN COLORADO

          The legalization of marijuana here in Colorado has opened up the doggie door on an epidemic of “bad dog behavior” which  is deeply troubling to dog owners all across the state. There have been countless reports of rebellion, disobedience, apathy, and in some cases fatalities; (and yes, tragically, even suspected suicides.) Like their human masters, a great deal of the canine population are now addicted to marijuana use every day, and the horrific consequences are far worse than any humane society or dog owner could have ever envisioned. Dogs can now get their paws on pot infused edible treats that are known in the cannabis canine community with such  slang terms  as “Beggin’ Buds,” “Doggie Dreamz,” “Kanine Kannabis Krunch,” and many other brands of THC infused treats made by humans. Some of these doobie dogs have even figured out how to get into their master’s stash, getting high by drinking bong water,  or smoking or ingesting carelessly placed joints and pipes, or even bags of pot left on the coffee table. Formerly sweet natured, alert, perky dogs have become careless, apathetic, lazy and lethargic. Hopefully this report will help dog owners see what the warning signs are that your dog is abusing marijuana. WARNING: what you are about to read is extremely shocking and sad.

----An 8-year-old Boston Terrier named Spunky died at his home of an apparent lethal case of cotton mouth where he choked to death on an opened and almost full bag of Family Size Nacho Cheese Doritos. The dog's owner, a heavy pot user himself, forgot about the chips he carelessly left on the coffee table and also forgot to fill up Spunky’s water bowl. Spunky was found dead with a giant wad of half eaten and ingested dry Doritos in his mouth and esophagus. Spunky apparently died of extreme dehydration and accidental inhalation of Dorito crumbs. An autopsy showed that Spunky had enough THC in him to get 4 Saint Bernards stoned off their asses and was so dehydrated, that the chewed Doritos had hardened into a cement like ball in his mouth, blocking his air passage which resulted in death from asphyxiation.

----A 9-year-old Chow–Chow named Charlie apparently got a hold of a bag of Kannabis Krunch his owner had carelessly left out and ate the entire bag, over 6 times the amount of the recommended dosage for edibles. Charlie was so stoned, that his already naturally beady eyes were completely swollen shut and he couldn’t see, but yet he escaped his backyard and carelessly walked right out in front of a speeding Greyhound bus while pursuing the tasty smells of a BBQ cart across the street. Charlie was killed instantly and an autopsy said he had copious amounts of THC in his blood and fur…Apparently Charlie had a long history of marijuana abuse and it is believed his munchie cravings  led him blindly into the street, not that he committed suicide by bus, as several witnesses first reported seeing Charlie casually cross the extremely busy street. The owner said it was "a total bummer" of what happened.

---- A 5-year-old Labrador named Larry was at one time a energetic ball of fire who loved chasing a tennis ball and Frisbee at the park and would start barking and wagging his tail enthusiastically the minute he saw either of them being held by his master. He also loved to”shake” and do tricks…Apparently, the owner noticed that  Larry was oversleeping and napping all the time, and showed  total apathy and zero tail wagging when the owner would bring out his Frisbee or tennis ball and would only lie back down in front of the TV when the owner  asked him to do tricks. It worried his owner so much that he took Larry to the park to see if that might lift his spirits. Larry immediately left his master and wandered  over to another group of doggie dudes playing hacky sack, where he stayed for hours as he rebelliously wouldn’t respond to his master’s commands. Finally, Larry had to be put in counseling and obedience school where it was reported he had been truant numerous times and was finally caught by the animal control. While incarcerated, a blood test showed high amounts of THC in his blood.

-----A spry and apparently happy 2-year-old Cocker Spaniel named Sparky apparently ran right out in front of a speeding Fed Ex truck on the highway, committing suicide for no apparent reason. Sparky was completely flattened and had to be scraped off the road for an autopsy where his fur confirmed heavy pot use. The owner said "yeah man, I was smoking a doobie with Sparky when he totally flipped out and started barking and whining and sprinted out in front of that Fed Ex truck."

----- A sweet natured obedient 7-year-old Australian Shepherd named Sammy was fed several marijuana and THC infused CBD treats for his paw pain, and apparently jumped right out the driver's side window of his owner's 1971 WW bus when Sammy smelled the delicious aromas from a street side hot dog cart vendor. Sammy was flattened by an oncoming petroleum truck as he sprinted across the busy street to get a hot dog treat. It was reported as an accident and an autopsy was performed that showed Sammy had 10 times the legal limit of THC in his blood. The owner said his "eyes were totally bogus", and he had thought he was giving him only 10 milligrams when in fact he was accidentally giving Sammy 100 milligrams for his pain each night. The owner has since purchased a pair of John Lennon reading glasses.

----A 15 year old Chihuahua named Paco smokes pot every single day and will not go to bed until his master plays him side one of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon and feeds him an entire bag of Beggin’ Strips Dog Jerky. During the day, Paco does nothing but watch reruns of Scooby Doo and Tom and Jerry cartoons.

            These are only a handful of countless reported incidents that our dog population in Colorado are becoming a generation of Canine Cannabis Creatures. Drug experts believe that horses, cats, pigs, and other animals will be lured into this sad stoned state: Pun intended. Let’s stop this before it becomes a national epidemic. Vote NO on legalizing pot for pets!!!!!!!!!!