CONFESSIONS OF MS. PAC MAN'S FORMER LOVER

            With the age of TMZ, The View, Dr. Phil, and other public airings of dirty laundry, I need to Tide myself completely over here, and should have confessed this when Maury Povich was doing A Current Affair in the 1980's....I feel guilty as I haven't been completely honest with all of you, and it is time I come clean as confession is good for the soul, especially publicly for all to read.             
          I have led a double life by giving you all the impression I have no kids and am "free" when I am actually imprisoned with four kids out of wedlock ....All four were conceived from an adulterous relationship that began one passionate night long ago, when Mr. Pac Man was away on business....Ms. Pac Man and I had way too much to drink, and I gobbled up way too many rows of those dots that were in fact, some sort of tiny of tiny pre-Cialus/Viagra pills, and the result was unplanned passion and unplanned quadruplets. I am STILL disgruntled because Ms. Pac Man PROMISED me I had "nothing to worry about" as she told me she had her circuits tied: A lie every unplanned father regrets believing and has to pay for for 18 years: To this day, I still have to send my child support in quarters and tokens every month.
            But the MAIN confession I have, because these short circuited kids were not mine of my own accord, I often was short-tempered and short-circuited myself, and was often unplugged from them as a father. Most shameful of all was that I often cursed, yelled, and yes, I shamefully hit Ms. Pacman when I failed at playing her game out of frustration in front of the kids.
         I have been haunted by this guilt for years but I feel SOO much cleaner now that this dirty laundry is now public.....I just wanted come clean and say I love you to my four beautiful kids Blinky, Inky, Pinky and Clyde!!!!!!!

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